"Gloriasoft will be held accountable to the investors, particularly the well-endowed ones, and will strive to remain competitive without sacrificing any of Gloria Sadowski's benefits, including her chateau in N”ce, her Faberge collection, or the chocolate pumps she got during Wigstock.

"Gloriasoft will meet all reasonable expectations of the customer, with emphasis on the reasonable part, as Gloriasoft has no intention of refunding monies, handling technical support issues related to asinine user errors, or taking any crap from litigation-happy computer geeks who think they know more than I do, damnit!

"Sorry.

"I got carried away.